February 2012
1 post
January 2012
1 post
Oh tumblr
Life has more or less separated me from the only thing I’ve ever loved more than tofu and chocolate: blogging. I wanna get back in to the swing of things. I think I might have forgotten how to write.
It’s been a loooong year.
December 2011
3 posts
November 2011
2 posts
Unnecessary Facebook... Things
Yes, it’s me, and I’m really dusting off the ol’ keyboard to write one of my long awaited blog posts.
So why am I writing this one? Well, because all y’all niggahs do some things on Facebook that are not only HIGHLY unnecessary, but also are a waste of my procrastination time.
1) Let’s talk about the obvious: Facebook games. And it’s not like I have a...
The grandest of debates
To sleep or not to sleep? That is the question. Whether tis nobler in my mind to suffer through the pangs of sleep deprivation or listen to pointless presentations and by sleeping avoid them. To nap, to sleep— no more—and by a sleep to say we end the exhaustion, and the thousand droops of the head the tired body is heir to. ‘Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished. To nap, to...
October 2011
1 post
Breakfast dilemmas
Waking up at one in the afternoon clearly has negative effects on my ability to make decisions.
I’m here trotting down my hallway to the kitchen wondering whether or not to eat cereal or toast when I realize that I’m in the mood to eat something big today. But what to eat?
I looked at my phone and saw that it was exactly 1:08pm. Perfect excuse to eat a large meal! It’s...
September 2011
12 posts
Reasons?
People love saying that everything happens for a reason. I don’t think that. I don’t think there’s ever a reason for bad things happening to you. My belief is simple: crappy things happen, and then you try to make the best of it.
18 tags
1 tag
5 tags
"We can't hear you, Mr. President!"
Ten years ago President Bush spoke before the rubble and a large crowd at the ruins of the World Trade Center for his famous bullhorn speech. An NYC firefighter couldn’t hear the president because the loudspeaker was faulty. He shouted out, “I can’t hear you!”
The president then gave this historic quote: “I can hear you! I can hear you! The rest of the world hears...
I need a new adventure
Maybe have a movie moment; to feel like I’m in a grand novel!
I feel like someone life-changing is gonna speak to me soon….
Also, I gotta take my cat Starlet to the vet.
I’ll handle -that- adventure today.
1 tag
You know you come from a Christian family when everyone’s names are biblical.
May I present to you the names of some of my cousins:
Jeremiah
Joshua
Daniel
Danielle
Matthew
David
Angel
Josiah
Alijah (from Elijah)
Jacob
John-Paul
Ariel
Mark
Paul
Jordan
Rebeca
Manuel (derived from Emmanuel)
Anna
and Jesus
AND I DIDN’T EVEN MENTION THEIR MIDDLE NAMES.
August 2011
13 posts
“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”
– Jeremiah 17:9. Me gusta.
1 tag
this summer, i am dating myself.
Heck yeah!
#mylife
So I woke up this morning mega pumped. For those of you who don’t know, two friends of mine got married last night and I danced my night away! Naturally, I woke up in a happy mood. I was ready to tackle my day! Last day before Fall semester started and I wanted to go out with a BANG! Fiesta! Musica! Friends or some poop like that!
So I’m there at work like, “Man, after work...
How to Win a Heart in Ten Days
(for all those kids who don’t know how)
Day 1: The Meeting.
Make your presence known. Smile. Leave a cute note.
Day 2: Re-Meeting.
Look at them from the corner of your eye. When they catch you, smile. Express interest without seeming overly interested. Leave casually.
So this guy walks into my job.
Some little jit. Like nineteen or twenty or so, right? Well he looks at me and says, “Miss, I think I wanna marry you.” I look at him expectantly and reply, “Oh yeah?” and he says yes.
“Which ring do you like here?” he said. I could tell he SWORE that he thought he was a G.
So I pulled him away from the sissy little whatever rings that cost under $4,000...
Meaty, wordy conversations between my mom and I.
Mom: Ash, there’s medicine in my bathroom. Drink it!
Me: No.
Mom: Yes.
Me: ….no.
Mom: Yes.
Me: Noo…
Mom: Yes.
Me: NOOOO.
Mom: ….yes.
Me: I don’t wannaaaa!
Mom: But you must!
Me: *grunt*
Mom: *Facebook*
“But Ruth replied, “Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I...”
– Ruth (via mighty2save)
Ruth knew how to be a friend.
July 2011
24 posts
7. The last thing I ate
This morning I was so not in the mood for my usual Honey Bunches of Oats with blueberries and brown sugar. SO INSTEAD I made myself a toasted spinach and provolone cheese sandwich with a glass of yummy fruit punch (Crystal Light. Gotta maintain my girlish figure, ya know).
Day 6. Where I want to be right now
Oh man, for the past few days my imagination has gone wild with fantasies of long car rides, the big Disney World arch, and Cinderella’s castle. If I could be anywhere right now, it’d be Disney World! I dunno what it is about the place that makes you feel so grand, but I wanna feel that Disney high right about now. It would make me so happy.
literamaniac:
The people you meet when you write about rape [TW FOR RAPE APOLOGISM]
Mr. What About The Men “The real problem here is all these false rape accusations that are destroying our society! 90 million men are falsely accused of rape every second! A woman just has to sort of mumble a word starting with ‘r’ and a man instantly gets a life sentence! There are no instances on record of a...
5. Who I wish I could be
Me at age 5. Simple.
Day 4- One of my bad habits
I freak out easily.
If I could properly elaborate that, I would. But I can’t. I have epic anxiety issues.
6 Types of Love
fuck-yeah-best-posts:
Eros a passionate physical and emotional love based on aesthetic enjoyment; stereotype of romantic love
Ludus a love that is played as a game or sport; conquest; may have multiple partners at once
Storge an affectionate love that slowly develops from friendship, based on similarity
Pragma love that is driven by the head, not the heart
Mania obsessive love; experience...
Harry Potter special on Larry King on CNN right now!!
A new survey? I think so!
1. Three things I want to say to three different people.
2. One of my insecurities.
3. What turns me on.
4. One of my bad habits.
5. Who I wish I could be.
6. Where I want to be right now.
7. The last thing I ate.
8. Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately.
9. What song I’m currently listening to.
10. The last time I cried and why.
11. Something I’m excited about.
12. 5 things...
Why You Should Date an Illiterate Girl.
prce-4:
It’s a bit lengthy, but beautiful nonetheless.
Date a girl who doesn’t read. Find her in the weary squalor of a Midwestern bar. Find her in the smoke, drunken sweat, and varicolored light of an upscale nightclub. Wherever you find her, find her smiling. Make sure that it lingers when the people that are talking to her look away. Engage her with unsentimental trivialities. Use...
Pretending Not To Know Someone You Just Met....
alexliciou-s:
When you secretly stalked every photo album of them on Facebook before meeting them:
On the outside: Hi, nice to meet you!
On the inside: Hello, Chris Adam Johnson, born June 23, 1988 whom has 3 brothers Paul, Will, and Michael. You have 13 photo albums on Facebook….
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